So, it's been awhile! School has been keeping me busy, and that is definitely my priority, and will be my priority for the next few weeks....Also, the past couple of writings I've done have been run on Misfit Politics' website instead of here, so my blog has seriously slowed down. My apologies.
But! I have a special treat for you today. Last night, the awesome Justen Charters (@justencharters on twitter!), founder of Resistance 44, randomly decided to rope me into writing a story with him. We took turns writing the story in sequence, and, well, things got weird. Slash awesome. Here's the story in its entirety (with some grammar and spelling editing...it was late last night, and we aren't perfect, okay!?). I added our names at the end of segments so you know who wrote which parts. Keep in mind, this was completely impromptu, and I'm pretty sure both of us were kind of loopy from the late hours. That being said, brace yoself...
When Happy Feet Meets Mel Gibson's Ransom Meets Rambo
[Yes, that's the actual title. Reader disgression advised.]
by Justen Charters and Bailey Connell
"Once upon a time... there was a penguin named
Bob (Justen). Bob had a family: a wife, a bunch of little
baby penguins, as well as an adopted baby squirrel, which he took in as his own
son.
[Side note: I have no idea how this squirrell is surviving in
the arctic...] (Bailey). The squirrel was wearing a 40 below fur coat, which kept him warm.
But, one day, a rabbit named Frankie--the mafia rabbit of the Tundra--decided to kidnap the baby squirrel, whose name was Mufasa (Justen). Mufasa was scared and alone. In the mean time, Bob and his
little troop of penguin friends sent out a search party, and they searched high
and low for Mufasa! Mostly low, though, cause they're penguins. They can't fly (Bailey).
As they were waddling to
and fro they came across half a carrot. Bob remembered his days as a detective
for the Bureau Of Icelandic Investigation....This must be a clue he thought (Justen). So he put on his gloves,
careful not to get his flipperprints on the evidence, and placed the carrot in a
plastic baggie. After a long day of searching, he went home to feed his family.
As he sat down to dinner, the phone rang. When he answered, he heard "Hey,
ya big ugly bird! I want 5,000 carrots by midnight tomorrow, or the little
furball GETS IT!" (Bailey).
Bob sighed. He did
not have 5,000 carrots to give. Would Frankie Cottontail take some fish
instead? He held the phone up to his beak. "Will you accept fish instead? We
penguins do not eat vegetables." Frankie replied, "Well I guess
you will just have to find a way to get the carrots or your squirrel will
become a appetizer for the seals." The phone went dead. Bob waddled
up to his basement and pulled out a old chest covered in cobwebs.
Sometimes you just have to get your hands dirty, he thought (Justen).
He opened the chest, and there lay his old bow and arrow, handed
down to him from his father. Also, a half eaten peanut butter sandwich, which
he promptly ate. He hoped he would never have to use it (the bow and arrow, not
the sandwich) but he knew the day had come. He knew what needed to be done (Bailey).
He picked up the bow and arrow. He did not want to alarm the family, so he waited until night fell and than quietly waddled out the door. Bob's mission was simple: take out Frankie Cottontails two bodyguards and then Frankie would surrender. But he wondered if an arrow was strong enough to go through a snow leopard. He would have to find out how to best use the element of surprise. Bob walked for what seemed miles, then he came upon the mailbox at the private drive of Frankie Cottontail (Justen).
All of a sudden, a wave of confidence flooded over him. He thought to himself, "I am a freaking PENGUIN...And I have a BOW AND ARROW! Nothing can stop me!" He then marched, point blank, right up to Snuggles the snow leopard, the body guard standing outside his Frankie's house. Knowing he wanted to save his single arrow for the true criminal, he did the first thing he thought of: He slapped Snuggles, right across the face with his bare flipper. Snuggles sat there in shock, while Bob waddled right past him into Frankie's home (Bailey).
He opened up the door and then put on his penguin rocket
propelled roller blades. If Snuggles came after him he would have a fighting
chance now. He started down the hallway to a set of large open doors. It was
then he saw it Mufasa in a bird cage. But Frankie he was no where to be seen (Justen).
Mufasa's eyes widened as he recognized his
father enter the room, and his little claws clung to the bars of the birdcage
as he cried, "DAD! RIGHT BEHIND YOU!" As Bob turned around, he
saw (Bailey) Frankie Cottontail swing his sledge hammer.
And Bob weaved and dodged the first swing. Again and again he dodged the
hammer. Was he to do though? He needed a higher ground to fire the bow or some
more time to prepare it and pull back the string. He looked high. He looked
low.
There it was, the answer to it all (Justen).
It was a CD labeled "Ron Paul speeches:
throughout the years - 5 hrs. 25 minutes" Between Frankies swings of the
sledge hammer, he managed to slip it in to the CD player and his play. The
sound that eminated caused Frankie to immediately drop his sledge hammer and
scream in what sounded like pure agony. He couldn't take it. He was completely
immobilized....Bob now had his chance (Bailey).
Without hesitation Bob pulled out his bow, loaded his only
arrow, aimed for in between Frankie's eyes and fired. He was never the best
archer. The arrow missed by a mile. Luckily the Ron Paul cd was still playing.
Bob would have to take him down hand to hand combat (Justen).
And as he raised his flipper to make the first strike, he saw
the horror in Frankie's eyes. Bob had a change of heart. He then dragged
Frankie by the neck over to the birds cage and thrust him in, while withdrawing
Mufasa. He locked the cage, set the Ron Paul recording on repeat, and left the
evil Frankie Cottontail there to rot (Bailey).
The End. "
